During an end-of-year cleanup of email accounts, phone apps, subscriptions, etc, over the past week, I came across Necessary Days and realized I needed to make a decision: keep it or let it go – there’s no sense in paying for something I seldom use. I don’t want to let it go, which means I will re-acquaint myself with writing. Lord knows I need the mental exercise. Write something, anything once a day. No gems necessary.
In 2020 I participated in my first Black Lives Matter protest march, continued volunteering at the homeless shelter, had my first big shouting match with dad over something stupid, inadvertently drove nails into the coffin of a few relationships, enthusiastically embraced mask-wearing and stay-home orders to “do my part”. For the first time in three years I unmuted DJT on the TV for the coronavirus daily briefings. Doing so reinforced my perception that he was and is wholly unqualified for the office. Mom said I’m bitter. I replied, I’m not bitter, I’m angry. In 2020 I raged against All Lives Matter, Christian Nationalism, selfishness, GOP greed, toilet paper hoarders, and church leaders telling me how I should vote. I thought and said What the fuck? a lot. I went to confession. I wrestled with God, and I went to church until people stopped being careful. Our pastors got COVID. My two best friends got COVID. I drank a lot and read a lot and bought too many books. My favorite TV binges were The Queen’s Gambit (twice: once with mom, once 6-hours straight, live-texting with Brenna) and The Flight Attendant. I finally watched a few seasons of The Office. I discovered and fell in love with Rachel Maddow, Sarah Cooper, and the Podcasts My Favorite Murder and Mea Culpa. I refused to allow myself to be soothed by anything other than doggos, tales of random acts of kindness, and every precious moment with mom and dad.
I really should have been writing through 2020. I will write through 2021, Lord willing.